I have been praying lately for direction and safety when it comes to how much I can love the promise of an outcome, and get so scared when I think that dream won’t be realized. Add in the old stuff from childhood that can arise that I am tasked in 2023 to finally deal with like stored anger that can manifest into resentment from the continual abandonment and disappointment from childhood. I think I am doing a good job managing it but then I am asked to go to a new level when I encounter deeper feelings of intimacy romantically or I stretch myself professionally, and I am reminded from the past that it could still exist. I may have been playing it safe the last few years. I think we all were able to in Covid. Buckle down. Survive. Don’t rock the boat too much. I dove into home buying. Moving. I bought a house and wrote a draft of a book. I explored myself and spent countless days alone. But now back in the world, I am embracing again the possibilities of more and am reminded of what still could require healing. Fuck, I hate saying that out loud, but I know it is true. Did I make you squirm a little thinking about what may be left to work through in your life? Do you want the there-there?
While on one hand I love dancing through the daisies on a life of a perfect high, I also know that at some point past shit I have not come to terms with that evolves in patterns will arise again. Now I want to be ready. And so I pray for the signs that it is going to come to pass and how that shows up is people thanking me for giving them a voice which in turn shows me I have the right to have a voice.
My prayers were answered in the sweetest of ways which is the results of service and how I have helped other people tell as story and feel worthy when I have not been so sure of my own. Isn’t that the case with so many experts and professionals that often what we can’t do for ourselves, we can champion others? The nuggets of helping people have a voice started to roll into my inbox this Tuesday like little whispering reminders that if these people have healed and evolved… then so can I. I also see how many more people I could help and that encourages me to come to terms with “my stuff” sooner.
A therapist Bill Kavanaugh whose book I had read and gave notes to as an a la carte service three years ago emailed me last night his gratitude in how I pushed his book along. He just had a book signing in Palm Springs and next month in Ohio. Here is his book Keep Your Fork: Something Sweet is Coming
Lacey Tomilnson of the Middl Podcast released our episode, telling her audience I apparently said to her when we first met (and she was doubtful she had a story), "Oh no, people want to hear what you have to say. You have a voice, you are interesting."
Lacey thought because she is from Cincinnati she has lived a small life, and I made sure she knew it was a BIG life. And today I am a guest on her podcast.
She thanks me for giving her validation to start the podcast the Mddl. She credits me for validating her, and nothing makes my heart soar more than hearing the results of this aspect of who I am as a coach.To support my client Becky Tucker appearing on her first podcast, I got her on Nicole Harcot’s Remember Your Power telling womb stories. Becky is writing a book about the womb and the sacred feminine. When this episode released yesterday, I was surprised at my candor in talking about womb trauma from the birth of my first child. The conversation between the four women on the podcast was profound and I am glad I made the time to do something serving others (but then serving me.)
How are the nuggets of what you have done in the last years shown up to validate you in a way that feels like a cool breeze in the moment of sitting in the sunshine? Lapping at your face and activating your heart in a way that reminds you while we all feel like we are out there grinding, doing and living, the timeline is working in a deeper more meaningful way for us.
Notice it. Delight in what you have done for yourself and others. Be enough today.
Shameless Plug:
If you or anyone you know is looking to have some part of their process coached and supported, I offer several services outside my one year book writing programs. I do full book evaluations to ensure the content is ready for market. I coach one hour on an idea for a book. I also coach on that burn out from releasing a book and what to do after the thrills dies. Feel free to reach out through my web site at www.kimohara.com.